The Charge

Half a league, half a league,
  Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
  Rode the six hundred.
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
  Rode the six hundred.

Oh, Tennyson you saucy bastard. You sure do know how to lighten a mood. This particular poem was written by Tennyson after he read an account of the Battle of Balaclava where the "Light Brigade" had made a desperate charge by fool hearty generals into the face of withering fire and were cut down almost to the man. Yes, such a brave charge it was. The poem goes on to discuss the inevitability behind all of it.

Theirs' not to make reply

Theirs' not to reason why

Theirs' but to do and die

Into the valley of death

Rode the six hundred

You don't ask, you don't question, you just do. It is almost as if nothing could be done about it either. As if it had already happened and now was but a memory. The feeling of inevitability is a very cold feeling to the heart because we like so much to be in charge, even when we are not. It is a feeling that I doubt few have went without.

I am currently standing at the top of the hill ready for my charge. It has been a long time coming. Something that I probably knew I should do but too scared to leave my comfort zone. It has been an inevitable feeling weighing down on me first while I was in college, and then creeping back up on me every few months. It is that nagging feeling that there is something you are suppose to do. When you look around at your surroundings and you mutter to yourself,"this isn't right." You lay awake at night and you beg for answers and then even when answers are given you ignore them with an impressive uncertainty. Eventually, you will either retreat back towards camp and wonder what would have happened. Or, you will stand at the top of the hill looking down towards your enemy and wait for the bugle call.

Charge!

Superman

"DON'T CRY! It doesn't solve anything." That is the kind of house I was raised in. Be a man, suck it up, and move on even if you are only 5. Now this isn't entirely a bad thing. You learn after awhile to be able to put things to the side and carry on. We were always taught to be like soldiers in combat. You have to always keep moving because once you stop that's when bad things happen, you know, like getting shot. I in particular seemed to embrace this ideology more than others. Swallow your emotions and don't show pain because you never know who else is relying on you to be strong in any given situation.

However, there is definitely a downside to this. When you continually try to act like superman eventually people start believing you are. If you never show emotion or anything else then they assume nothing is wrong and continually pile on or act is if nothing is the matter. I view it kind of like a house that looks really nice on the outside. You pull up in the driveway and everything looks great. You take a tour and everything seems to be in place. Then you get it inspected only to find out the pipes are leaking, wires are exposed and not up to code and the foundation is cracking. It only takes one of these things to go and it will lead to total catastrophe like a flood, fire, or collapse.

Now people who are like this do a number of things in order to keep from total collapse. Usually they aren't good things but more on the order of vices. I don't feel the need to list these as we all know what the usual ones are. The irony in doing this though is eventually even they lead to collapse they just delay the inevitable. They just aren't able to say what they feel, or act that they are anything but ok. It's like being on an edge that you aren't even sure God can pull you back from. It is a constant fight with oneself. Helping others with a smile while the foundation cracks and crumbles a little bit at a time.

Wow, It Has Been a Long Time

June is already quickly coming to an end and I haven't written in many, many, moons. Summer is in full swing. I have already spent a week in Chicago, been reading a lot and seeing some good changes coming my way. The Masters in History is still in progress and I am preparing to take 9 hours this semester, should be great fun. I also think I have decided on a thesis topic "The Consolidation of New Madrid County Schools." It should be good since I am already in education and if I decide to move into administration it will look good on a resume. Hopefully, I will start writing more again, but for now.......catch ya later.

Summer Yet?

I am going to start this update on good notes. 1) Got my first test back from my class and it was a solid A, though a perfect score would be nice cause I am like that. 2) My block 4 is turning out pretty good, in fact I think I might learn a few things from him. It is good to see a young teacher with good ideas coming into the field, thought I will be honest part of me wants to yell RUN! RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!! But he really is good and I believe he will work out. The only other good note I have is I got to spend all afternoon in Kent Library yesterday. For some of you that may seem really weird but I like it. Searching through the stacks of books for what you need while no one else is up there. Then reading and outlining, there is just something relaxing about it.

Now to the bad notes. Baseball is kicking my butt. This is two hours+ I could be using on a lot of things and I am sitting at practice. Don't get me wrong I love baseball, I have been around it since I was 4 years old. I am just not going to make it a priority with all my other things. I am not spending $800 a class to get a B. At the same time I am a moron by agreeing to be in this spring play. I knew I would have no time but I did it anyway, now the time is getting close and I need to get these lines down. I really must learn how to say no. I can think of no other things to add to this except life is busy, and I am ready for a break.

It's Been Awhile

Wow, it has been more than 10 days since I have put up a new post and to be honest I don't have much to say. It has been a CRAZY couple of weeks. Along with my classes I am teaching, I am also getting my Advanced Placement kids ready for their May test and we are WAY behind because I had to spend a whole quarter teaching them how to write. Juniors and Seniors walked into my class not knowing how to write a thesis statement, or organize an argument in general. I have their essays to grade, I have 90+ World History research papers to grade as well Sociology reports to grade. I could do it after school but OHHHHH nope I am coaching baseball. So I usually spend my weekends on it because frankly I need some me time after practice or I will lose my mind. For that cherry on top I have another paper due April 4th, and I need to be memorizing lines for the spring play I am in.

Now to make me feel old. I am getting a block 4 student teacher next Tuesday. Yup, I will be in charge of helping to train a new teacher. For those of you who don't know what a block 4 is, basically they come in for about a quarter and take over your classes. Now this is kind of good for me because I am so busy, as long as he is good. If not then it will actually be more work for me. It still makes me feel old, I mean crap it seems like just yesterday I was the newbie teacher walking into a strangers classroom. Now I am the grizzled veteran. I mean I even went to a teacher panel at a block 4 regrouping last Friday. Basically, we sat at a table and told these newbies all the stuff about teaching that they don't teach you, and they asked us questions. It is just wild to think how fast it is all going.

Anywho, that is what I am up to. Things are really busy and I am looking forward for summer but at the same time I am wanting things to slow down.

To Feel Important

(Fair warning if my writing is odd it's because I am really tired)

Wow, what a day and it still isn't over. In fact, I could say it has been a busy two days. Last night I had night class which is made even better because I have it after baseball practice. It is a very good thing they have coffee available. On a bright note though I got my last paper back and it was an A, though I wasn't really proud of it. The writing was sub par and I didn't have time to get it edited. Anyway, after night class I got home and stayed up doing a little reading but I had to get up at 4:30 this morning because I went to a conference today at the Federal Reserve in St. Louis titled "Economic Forces in History."

I arrived, along with another teacher, at the Federal Reserve about 7:30. It was business casual though I have found that when someone says business casual it usually means wear a damn tie. So we are walking towards the Fed and I feel really important. I mean how do you not? I am walking tie and all towards the Fed entrance. No one knows that I am a teacher going in for a workshop on Economic History, for all they know I am a big wig banker who is about to do some dealing. Oh and by the way the building is AMAZING! Marble floors, "gold" plated elevator doors, and the auditorium where we sat was great; nice leather chairs, microphones where you were sitting so you don't have to yell and great projecting equipment. I mean we even had servers picking up our plates after lunch.

Most of you are probably asking why in the world are they doing all this for a bunch of economics teachers. Well, from what I gather it is because the state of economic education is terrible. People have no idea how it works, nor do they care. However, at the same time they are voting on HUGE economic issues which they don't even understand. So we are trying to change that so they are trying to get teachers to come in and learn about economics and use it in the classroom even if they don't teach just an economics class.

Ok, I am exhausted...

Fun in the Middle East

Every now and then I will talk politics or world events. Unless you have been living in a hole the last month or so you should have heard of the craziness which has now taken over the region. It is wild to watch an actual revolution roll from country to country. People rising in the streets to throw off the bands of oppression! Of course this equals pain, suffering, and an unstable part of the world in the meantime. This leads to the ultimate questions, does the United States get involved?

My simple answer is no. To be more specific I do not wish to aid them militarily. Now I know people are going to label me as cold hearted. That I would just let those poor Libyans suffer and die as we watch. However, this has to a revolution by Libyans, or Algerians, or Iranians. It can not be an American revolution. Otherwise, whatever government pops up won't be an Arab democracy, it will just be another American puppet government. It doesn't matter if it really is or not, the world will see it for that. They have to win their own freedom, we cannot do it for them. This is one of the problems I think we have had in Iraq. We created the government, not the people. Does this mean people are going to die? Yes. I know this is easy for me to say sitting in America, but that is just the way it is. I will say at the same time if mass genocide commences then of course I am willing to step in and stop that, but not actually overthrowing the government in place of the people.

This also does not mean that I am not in favor of aiding them in other ways. We have started do this with asset freezes. The United States just the other day froze 30 billion in assets. If he can't fund his army his grip on power will be loosened. I am also for sending humanitarian aid such as food and medicine. I don't want to see kids starving to death as a result of a madman. I just don't want to be sending mass amounts of weapons and ammo into Northern Africa.

It is a very fine line to walk, and so far I think the President has handled it well. He has acknowledged it and is keeping an eye out. Also, let the crazy guy in Libya know if he gets too crazy we will end him. However, he is staying far enough away that this is a Libyan Revolution. Therefore, it belongs to the people, and when the government belongs to the people they will cherish it that much more because it was paid for with their blood. I just pray it doesn't cost too much.